In Prays a Charlie: Th Farthur a My Illiteracy

Charlie Farquaharson dun got re-tired even tho he wern’t tired in the furst plais. Spite bein a God-fearin man, Charlie wern’t no kreechur of God. He were the kreechur of yer Canagean cummedium, Dun Hairy One, hoo firs plaid him in 1952, afore even I wuz bored, and I got bored a lung time AGO (but not in yer Artsy Gallowry as is calld that). Hairy One dun never plaid Charlie wif hisself. He furst plaid him in a moosy seriyus on yer Canagean Breadcrustin Corpulayshun teavy nutwerk an laider on yer cummedy seriyus call The Rude Greed Show. But Charlie wer headin fur forescore year, an Hairy One put him out to pasteur on Charlie’s farm by Peary Stound. I dun growed up wif Charlie’s teledivishun seriyus an wif his bookies a which I gut and has red sex outta th ten (if ya counts th bookie as Hairy One put out two yeer AGO calld My Dubble Crossin, which ain’t by Charlie but by Hairy One about playin Charlie). So I’s exorcisin my frenchfries here ta communimemorait Charlie and th contribulation his bookies maid ta my illiteracy. Thank yees fer readin.

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