A New, Practical Approach to Helping Asexuals and the Asexuality-Accepting

NOTE: About 12 hours after this post first appeared, it seems that AVEN has risen from the dead after all, so that aspect of the post is now obsolete.

I just read this fascinating post by a young, female blogger who specializes in giving men advice about women. Why would an asexual man like me find a post fascinating if all it does is tell me how to notice that a woman is sexually and/or romantically interested in me? Read my discussion with the blogger in the comments–or, if you can’t be arsed, I’ll summarize it here. Even an asexual man doesn’t want to hurt a woman’s feelings, or evoke retribution from her for rejecting her, or damage any friendship he already has with her or any potential friendship that might develop. So I asked the blogger to write another post on how a man can discourage such interest from a woman in an appropriate and harmony-promoting way. Once it appears, there’s a good chance that I’ll reblog it here, under my brand new blog category of “Asexuality.”

I also recently found a blog by a thoughtful gay man who writes almost exclusively on gay issues, and does so in a way that I find sympathetic. I haven’t been able to dig out a link to his blog, but I’ll probably ask him to write something on how I can identify and discourage similar interest from gay men. Then I’d probably reblog that as well.

I recently heard insider info that The Death of Aven might not be as final as I thought. Apparently, the real obstacle to the resurrection of AVEN is founder David Jay himself, who could fix the problems with the old host’s hardware but is too busy being out of the country. A former AVEN moderator, whose privacy I’ll choose to protect, described AVEN to me four years ago as “a neglected child,” as Jay no longer finds AVEN to be a good investment for his marketing efforts in the great marketing project of increasing the visibility of asexuals–and has become something of a Kardashian in the asexual community thanks to the popularity of those efforts, leading him to lose interest in the AVEN website. But perhaps he’ll still be motivated to fix AVEN’s problems and resurrect it. In the meantime, the absence of AVEN from the internet creates a golden opportunity to de-politicize and de-marketingize asexuality and found an approach of helping asexuals and those sympathetic to us with our practical issues without any allegiance to any stripe of political activism. It sounds like a great thing to do.

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