This Post Is Not Related to Moses

It used to be that the word “tablet” made people think of those clunky stone things that Moses hauled down from the mountain after his chitchat with God. Nowadays, however, if you say “tablet,” people think of those strange little computer devices that are all display screen and don’t have so much as a button anywhere on them..

I’ve never owned or wanted a tablet because they’re useless for the things I need. All you can really do with a tablet is watch videos and go to a few minimally interactive websites. Good luck writing a blog post on a tablet without having your thumbs cramp up to the point  of needing amputation. Rotsa ruck maintaining a spreadsheet or doing server admin on a tablet without going postal (which are all things I don’t do but other people have). Yes, there are extra-large tablets with paper-thin detachable keyboards, but they cost more than even parking and insurance do here in Toronto, so they’re outside my budget. So instead I use my mini desktop for everything, and have no issues whatsoever.

One thing I’ve noticed about tablets, as well as the latest phones, is that they involve a lot of finger-dragging. They also involve brand new terminology. My brother himself once nearly went postal when he forgot his tablet at home and phoned me to look something up on it for him. He kept telling me to start dragging my finger at the bezel without telling me what a bezel was, and I was too flustered to ask him. So I kept dragging my finger within the illuminated display area and nearly ended up touching a link to a website offering vacation property listings in Abyssinia, which I would not have been able to return from for lack of finger-dragging experience and skill. It didn’t help that I am what I often call “dick-fingered,” from the German-language adjective “dick,” which means “thick.” Thanks to genetics, my palm is large but my fingers are short and stubby, so that using a phone might prove impossible for me without a clip-on pencil. 

And I’ve noticed that there is a whole world of finger-dragging involved in using both tablets and phones. A few minutes ago, I jokingly asked my brother whether I should save up to buy a small tablet so I could wear off my fingerprints on it. He didn’t find that funny, but at least it gives me some idea that career criminals who seek to avoid leaving fingerprints probably use their tablets far more than they need to, with all ten fingers. 

Until next time.

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